Love Black Women. End the Violence. Say Their Names.
“If every woman and girl learned to fiercely love herself, patriarchy would still be intact. It would demand that she be killed for having the audacity to think she was somebody.” -Brittney Cooper
Six women are dead, and I refuse to look at them as if they are isolated incidents, because, simply put: they are not.
The violence we are seeing against Black women is tied to patriarchy and its rules, which assign power to men and tell them they are entitled to whatever they want in this world.
It’s tied to the narrative that Black men have to “get it how they live” even if it means disregarding their own, because the supremacy that assigns power to men only does so, if the men are white.
It’s tied to the colorism that tells Black people their skin has to be a certain hue to be beautiful, respected, and worthy of access to human rights.
It’s tied to the internalized racism that tells Black women that straight hair “just looks better" foR sOmE rEaSon, when that reason has always been that Black women’s worthiness has been measured by its proximity to the Eurocentric standard of beauty.
It’s tied to the misogynoir that tells rappers to “fuck bitches and get money” but never to take responsibility for objectifying Black women, degrading Black women and subjugating Black women’s value to a means to sex and not love.
It’s tied to the gender based violence occurring against trans people for opposing the man-made rule that says that you should dress and behave yourself according to the reproductive organ you were born with.
It’s tied to mythological stereotypes like “Black women don’t feel pain.”
And it’s tied to the subconscious concept that Black women are undeserving of love and intimacy, because we are “too much” of every attribute we need to survive on this damned planet under this damned oppressive system.
Good people, I am tired.
I am tired because I have lost sleep many a night, thinking about the way so many Black women are dead before their time, because a Black man saw fit to end their lives. And, it is not lost on me that some of these men got help from other Black men, and even Black women too. Because that is what patriarchy does. It teaches men to protect other men at costs. To add, it teaches women to hate women too.
Look at these stats and tell me it’s not a problem.
“Black women are 2.5 times more likely to be murdered by men than white women. In the overwhelming majority of these cases — 92% — the person who killed them knew their victim.
56% of these homicides were committed by a current or former intimate partner. Nearly all —92% — of these killings were intra-racial, which means that they were committed by a Black man against a Black woman.”
“45% of Black women experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.”
“Firearms were used in about 54% of all female homicides. Compared to all other racial groups, Black women are most commonly killed by firearms.”
Nearly 1 in 5 Black women (20%) experienced stalking in their lifetime.
About 22 percent of Black women in the United States have experienced rape
Although this post is dedicated to Black women, I would be remiss if I did not also remind you that patriarchy is killing Black men too.
Black victims of homicide were most likely to be male (85%) and between ages 17 and 29
It’s killing men too.
That being said, let me be loud and let me be clear:
There is no room for patriarchy. There is no room for misogynoir. There is no room for any of the skullduggery that has gone unchecked and unreconciled for way too long.
#saytheirnames
Oluwatoyin Salau
Riah Milton
Dominique Fells
Anitra Gunn.
Aniah Blanchard
Alexis Crawford.
As Tupac once said, “We all came from a woman, got our name from a woman, and our game from a woman. [Why do we] take from women, rape our women, [and] hate our women? I think its time we killed for our women, be real to our women, try to heal our women, cus if we don’t we'll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies, who make the babies.”
We need to see a radical change ASAP that involves loving and respecting Black women as people.