A Saint Martin Romance
“You’re my business now.”
That’s what he said, when I asked him why he wanted to know where I’d be and what I had going on for the day.
“It’s none of your business,” I told him, feeling mostly serious, but also, a little flirty too.
As a solo traveler, it was high key a protective measure, but in the spirit of honesty, I also really felt like it wasn’t his business. Having met him only 3 or 4 days earlier, he didn’t know me like that, but I also needed to assert my position, which was that I was mine to keep.
That’s just my steelo.
It’s worth noting that there was a hint of “smart ass” in my tone, but little did I know…he had something for my a**.
“You’re my business now!” He retorted with his chest from the other end of the line. “How about that?”
I was shook. lol
I had only been in Sint Maarten for one week of my dream, three-week, extended stay, when I met him, a man, who became my protector and my friend.
““You’re My Business Now””
That call was a turning point for me, because before that moment, the last man I could recall coming at me in this manner was my high school sweetheart, whom I had met on one random Friday evening. Within two weeks of knowing him, he came so hard that I blinked, and we were in a whole relationship…for years. hehe. He was Caribbean too. #justsayin
Anyway, looking back on it, I would refer to our time together in Sint Maarten/Saint Martin a pure, innocent love.
We dated, he showed me around, he practiced French avec moi(translation: with me), and he simply hugged me goodbye, whenever it was time for me to go home to my undisclosed apartment on the island.
Although I knew it wouldn’t progress, I was really on an island, experiencing a romance that did not require me to sacrifice my core values. Not my dignity, my confidence, my attitude, my money, my body, nathan.
Plus, he liked when I was a lil sassy, and he didn’t mind that I wouldn’t kiss him…well, he minded but it didn’t stop anything.
With that, although we never kissed or explored any physical intimacy whatsoever, we still shared many an intimate moment. We were intimate when we talked about our lives, when we shared things about each other and when we experienced each other’s raw emotions…like anger. lol
I can recall this one time, when he got mad at me, because I went to a restaurant and ordered toast.
“You went out to get TOAST?!” TOAST?!!!
He kept repeating it… lol
To his point, it was a little wasteful, because I really did pay like $15 for four pieces of toast, eggs and bacon, but it was COVID, and the economy was just better then. You could be a little wasteful…lol
Anyway, this man got so mad that he cooked dinner for me the same day.
I’m not gon’ front, this trip was when I really started to think about what I was willing to give up in life.
Like, America? A good job?
In my head, I could’ve lived off the land baby. lol
Anyway, the fact that he would do that for me felt so special.
To add, he did it without berating me for missing the basic survival skills to buy a pack of wheat bread and do it for myself(lmao). As a woman, who has a rebellious relationship with domestication and men, who think that’s how my womanhood is defined, it went a long way.
He was just about me.
Now, that’s what would make me want to get in the kitchen and domesticate myself(not slavery under the guise of femininity).
Back to intimacy with regard to emotions, there was also that one time he got mad at me. See the difference?
On this occasion, we had planned to go out together in Maho. Judging from the night, I guess his agenda was for us to pull up and walk in together.
Now, I’m very much like fun and games, but when it starts feeling serious before I’m ready, the answer is no, hell no and absolutely not. It was cool for us to date, but I was not down to go to the #1 party on the island and pull up taken. I know the game when I see it, and I didn’t want nobody thinking anything lol.
Anyway, he got mad and gave me a few words(literally a few), but here’s what I remember.
“Tu es bete,” he said before repeating it softly with an heir of frustration.
This was a serious conversation, but I was laughing internally, because no this man did not just call me dumb in French.
I understood immediately, and I responded, “Tu es bete, aussi,” which translates to “you are dumb too.”
…I was in my 20s, and that wasn’t the right response, but we’re here now. lol
As you may have guessed, we never made it to that party, but that wouldn’t keep him from seeing me again, because he meant what he said.
I was his business.
During the rest of my time, he would call to check on me, take me around the island, and create with me some of my fondest memories.
Furthermore, if I needed something or if I was ever in a position where I felt I was in trouble, I knew I could call him and he would come to me.
Stories like this one make me grateful for my life abroad, my dating journey and the path that has been especially carved for me.
In moments where I feel slighted, lonely, and sometimes forgotten, I can look back and point to periods of my life where “love” manifested in a fashion that I could recognize it. I can also look back and reflect on what I learned about it as well.
I know there will never be two experiences that look exactly alike, but when I think of love and my fondest experiences with the phenomenon, I know that it bears many of the same traits.
