Opening Up to My Dad About My Recent Dating Experience
Hey yall! I was apprehensive to write this, but then I remembered how I once wrote a post about how not to crash out(the lemonade part lol), so it’s really free range. lol
Anyway, last month, I had recently called it quits with someone I cared for deeply, and it was really eating me up, because why would you make me leave you??
I was too hurt, and decided that it was time to talk to the big guy(my dad).
Now, I usually leave him out my escapades, but I wanted to take it back to the dirt roads and get the old school POV.
Withholding most of the details, I shared just enough about how my needs weren’t being met, and then, I paused before asking him what he thought.
He looked at me and responded with two basic questions:
Did you ever go to his house?
Did you ever go to his mama’s house?
When I answered no, he turned and shook his head, while saying four simple words: “then he wasn’t serious.“
“ It really was that simple. ”
Honestly, I was perplexed, because it reminded me how far we’ve gotten away from the plot.
Like damn, it really was that simple.
Of course, we look for all the little reasons to value a situation for more worth than it is, because dating in this era has become both tedious and tumultuous, but we always - I mean ALWAYS - know when shit ain’t right.
This was me, and I knew better. That’s why I was ackin up, and that’s why I pulled the plug.
“Then he wasn’t serious.”
Fast forward to this past weekend, over a couple months from the date it all ended, I brought it up again at breakfast with my parents.
This was primarily due to the fact that I’m in what I would call the “self-reflection” stage, and have decided that I don’t want to accept what society wants me to believe about dating and finding my life partner.
It’s time to get back to the basics.
Plus, I can honestly say I tried it the way everybody else said to do it, and it wasn’t fun! It was painful and quite literally the blind leading the omniscient(me, all-knowing).
I don’t want to go with the flow. I don’t want to talk to nobody for a year. I don’t want to post pics of food.
I want to meet somebody mama and decide if I even want to be in that family.
I want to post from a resort in the islands with somebody’s son’s hand on my bronzed, thick thigh with the caption: “We ain’t missing no meals.”
Period.
Dating Etiquette 101
Now, I know I don’t actually know everything, but one thing for certain and two fasho, 2024 dating is not the way I was raised. Except for men paying for stuff…I was raised that way. lol
““I want to meet somebody mama and decide if I even want to be in that family.””
But no fr, when I was talking to them, they were saying if it gets to 3-6 months, mamas and daddies need to know the person. Not because it’s serious, but because how can you know somebody if you don’t meet their people? And… to know if it’s serious, cuz what y’all/we doing? Ain’t nobody got time to waste. lol
Looking back on it, this was the status quo.
When I first started dating (at 16), I actually couldn’t date somebody until my parents met them. You had to talk to my daddy!
Furthermore, I knew my 8th grade boyfriend’s mom in the eighth * claps * grade. And we all know those “relationships” were futile and short-lived.
So, it’s time, I say, to start interrogating new-aged ideals.
If you don’t want to date like they did back in the day, I’ma just assume you weren’t raised right and go on bout my business.
That’s it. That’s all.
-Toi <3
